Long Ago and Far Away

That's kind of how Albania is starting to feel to me--like it was a long time ago and far far away. Don't get me wrong, though, because I still fall asleep thinking about it every night and I still talk about it all the time! It's just that lately there's been so much going on in my life that what happened then seems like ages ago.

But with all the snow and wind and cold here in MN, it is a most un-Albania like climate. However, the one thing I keep craving is totally Albanian. I want some salep in the worst way! lol :) It's smooth thickness and warm flavor would be just the ticket on these bitter cold days. Oh, man! I just want a cup of salep in my hands, warming them up, steam rising from the top with that deliciously comforting aroma wafting to my nose. Mmmmm!!!!

But alas. I am here, not there. And here, salep does not exist. I will have to settle for cheap cappuccino or hot chocolate, or crappy cafeteria coffee with lots of flavored creamer. lol Just goes to show that no place is perfect. A combination, however, would be amazing! :)

Love & Hospitality

Chapel is always a place where I end up doing a lot of thinking. The same is true of church. Maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe I should be doing more listening and less thinking. But so often, the person that I'm listening to says something that sparks my thought process. Today's chapel service was no exception.

The leader was talking about a trip he went on (I forgot where. Mexico? Costa Rica? Something like that. I know it was somewhere around Central America.) and a lady he met named Rosa. He didn't speak Rosa's language and Rosa didn't speak his. But after he'd hiked 2 hours up the side of a volcano to the little village where Rosa lived, she invited he and his family into her home and offered them some ground corn meal and sugar water. She used handful of English words that she knew, she gestured, pointed, and smiled. She hugged and waved and laughed. And then, when it was time leave,  Rosa sent them off with handfuls of avocados and red beans. By the standards we are used to in America, this doesn't seem like much. A hike to a village? Only being offered a glorified water drink? Being sent home with vegetables? Little verbal communication? Most of us would be thinking, "Um....awkward...."

But I could relate fully. I got to thinking... I may not have hiked to people's homes when I was in Tirana, but some days it did feel like an urban hike, hoofing it will my full backpack through the heat and humidity or through the damp, shiver-inducing rain, to get to the other side of the city to make sure I made it to some one's house on time because I'd accepted the invitation into their home. I knew little of their language and they knew little of mine. There was much gesturing, waving, pointing, and nodding. There was always, without fail, excessive cheek kissing. :) I miss that greeting. Laughter was always abundant and the smiles were the kind come so frequently and last so long that by the end of the visit my cheeks hurt.

I remember being sent home with petulla from Mrs. Huna. I remember Kesi and Klea's family send us home with homemade plum jam. (It was gone in a hurry! hee hee!) I remember leaving other homes and being sent away with cookies, candy, nylons (for real), pictures, cards, etc. Whatever people had, they wanted to give. They showed their love, not by words, but by their actions, through their hospitality. The joy on their faces is burned into my mind. People in Albania were always to quick to share and give much of the modest little they had. Though so different from what I was and am again used to, I can scarcely remember other situations that made me feel to welcome, so loved, to cared for.

Christian love is an amazing thing. It doesn't take words to communicate. It doesn't even take big actions to communicate. It takes a willing and generous heart. Sometimes these big lessons are shown in small ways.

Te dua shume, Shqiperia!

And So A Year Has Passed

One year ago today was my last day in Albania. My flight left that night and I spent the whole day with my stomach in knots. Every moment was spent on the verge of tears which spilled over on several occasions. I had such a mix of emotions--sadness at the goodbyes, pain at the thought of never seeing some of those people again, hurt that there were things left undone and unexplored, aggravation that I'd spent my last week sick with the mumps and then a swollen eye the day before leaving, joy at knowing I would see my parents and my brother the next day, anticipation of reunions with friends, excitement at having a new house and city to acclimate to, thanksgiving for the multitude of blessings God had showered on me during my there, and nervous about such a long journey by myself.

I know that at the time I wrote about feeling relief. And, truly, that was my main emotion because it rolled all of those others into one big ball that made it seem normal to be having so many acute feelings at once.

Today, exactly one year later, I still feel just as blessed, if not more than I did that day. There aren't words to describe the gratefulness I feel for the people I met, the things I saw and did, and the placesI went. I literally have a new perspective on everything because of my time in Albania. Just thinking of it fills my heart to the point of overflowing with love for my Albanian friends and family. They taught me so much and were more patient with me than I deserved. It just makes me wonder how my Heavenly Father can love me and be patient with me even through so much more. Unfathomable.

But all of those things that altered my perspective, changed my perceptions, opened my eyes to new lines of thought, provided understanding, and educated me, all bear witness to God's love. He provided what was best for me ad taught me exactly what he in his infinite wisdom knew I needed to know. And all it took was a very unique country in Eastern Europe. ;)

The picture is of a bracelet that Neda gave me that last day in Albania. It was hers and she literally took it off her wrist and gave it to me. She told me to wear it for good luck, that when I wore it I wouldn't be sad because I would think of everyone there and be happy. She also said that it would make us close in our hearts because I would have her with me. I have been given many things in my life but I have never had someone take something off of their physical person and give it to me like that. Neda is someone with very little to give yet generosity frequently comes to mind when I think of Neda. So the fact that she gave me something of her very own right then and there makes it probably one of the most meaningful things I've ever been given.

A bracelet is a circle; everything is continuous. Therefore, in my mind, it is an appropriate symbol of my experience in Albania. All things work together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. God knew it would all work out--the ups and downs--and that it would all fit together.

After a year has gone by, my mind is obviously jumbled with thoughts and emotions once again. But above all, I know that God set me to Albania as part of his purpose for me. I will never ever take that experience for granted. Aside from giving me my Savior and the wonderful family I have, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

**Note to the reader**
To write this, I used the iPhone app. for my blog and something is not right because the picture didn't attach. I'll work on figuring that out.

Daydreaming

I am a daydreamer. My thoughts are constantly going. The gears up in my head turn endlessly. Nine and a half times out of ten, I don't mind this one bit.

Sometimes when I was in Albania, I would just daydream about the places I'd seen and the things I'd done. I'd daydream about the places I had yet to see and the things I had yet to do.

I specifically remember, on several occasions, sitting at my desk in my room, staring out the window at the beautiful sight of grand Mt. Dajti while listening to what I like to call "God music." This just means that I was listening to Lakeside Acapella Choir songs (the choir I was in during high school) or to some sort of Christian contemporary artist like Kirk Franklin, Casting Crowns, or Amy Grant. But I remember just staring at the sight hearing the words of the songs praising God and jut thinking how blessed I was for what I was experiencing. I remember thinking about how thankful I was for the things I was learning every day, for the understanding and perspective I was gaining, for the way the distance from home made me appreciate people more, for the new relationships I was building, for the opportunity to see more of God's spectacular creation, etc. I can recall an overwhelming sense of peace and security during these times spent at my desk staring out the window. There were so many unknowns around me and ahead of me, but all I felt was complete contentedness looking out at the beautiful mountain and blue sky.

Here, the skies are blue today. The weather is gorgeous. Birds are chirping and there is only the faintest breeze blowing around the scents of plant life, ushering the fullness of summer into the house. Most often, it is days like today that bring out clear vivid pictures from my Albania room. Today's vision looks like this:

The picture was actually taken on one of my last days in Tirana. I was standing on the balcony outside of the living room watching a storm blow in. It occurred to me that though I'd watchedthis a number of times before, I'd never captured it in a photograph. And though the view from this balcony and from my bedroom windo was splendid in good weather, to me it was an absolutely awesome picture of God's majesty and splendor when we could see a storm building over the mountain. So many examples of his power all in one place.

There I go again.....when I should be getting the lawn mowed, the car vacuumed out, scholarship applications completed, etc., I find myself daydreaming about Albania. And I wouldn't have it any other way! :)

In The Back Of My Mind

In the back of my mind there is a large room. That's how I like to think of it. In this room are remnants of a time and a place. The room is filled with faces, most of which belong to children. Smiling laughing children of all ages. There are a few adults in the room. A tall, thin mother with slightly crooked teeth, bright eyes, and a contagious smile. A short man who looks like a big American football player but has the personality of a teddy bear. An observant woman who watches and speaks in two languages. The room flashes with scenes from many places. Views of umbrellas lined up along the beach. Sidewalks where purple and yellow buses stop to drop off and pick up passengers. Crowded round-abouts with boisterous honking vehicles, yelling pedestrians, screeching motorcycles, and bicycle bells ringing strong. Views from the top of a mountain. A simple green curtain with a small wooden cross hanging in front of it.

This is my Albania room.

Locked securely in my mind, it echoes with words like, "Po!", "c'kemi," "mirupafshim" and phrases like, "naten e mire," "sa bukur," and "shihemi neser!" Even after almost a year, the sights and sounds enclosed in this room are vivid. At night, my dreams live in this room and transport me back to the places I miss and the people I love. Sometimes, I fall asleep with tears streaming down my cheeks because the pain of missing this place is so strong.

In the back of my mind, Albania is never far away. I think of it every day. Though the number of people who can relate to my experiences are few and far between, I steal moments from this place daily. It is hard to keep up with my friends--no, family, is a better word--there. Do I do a good job of this? No. Not as well as I should. Is it hard? Yes. How do you explain a life that they don't understand? How do you do this with words on a page that are simple yet descriptive enough, all while being properly articulate?

In the back of my mind is the desire to be there again. I want to see those places. I want to talk with those people. I want to laugh, to get upset, to be angry, to be confused, to be excited, to be educated again. I don't want to relive the experience I had because I know it can't, wouldn't, won't be the same. What I want is simply another experience. Another experience in the same place with some of the same people. Some would be absent this time around, but others would step into the picture. Can I have this? Will I have this? Who knows.

Instead of dwelling on the unknown, I will focus on what I know. What I know is what I experienced. So, to keep from forgetting, I will continue this blog as a place where I can record my memories. I will share my feelings now, from the opposite side of the fence. (The grass is always greener.....right? lol) So please, allow me to unlock the door and let you into the Albania room.

Gone, But Never Forgotten

A note to the reader: I wrote this on my last night in Albania but didn’t get to post it (for many reasons) until today.

As I sit in my apartment for my final night in Albania, my main emotion is relief.

I am relieved that I made it through a year here.

I am relieved that I made friends that will last a lifetime.

I’m relieved that I get to go home tomorrow.

I’m relieved that I will have good heath care again so I can stop being sick.

I’m relieved that I was able to travel without running out of money.

And most of all, I’m relieved that at the end of it all, I feel successful.

God has been by my side through every step of the way, and, if you’ve been following my adventure, you know there have been numerous ups and downs. I guess I’m sort of even ending on a down note, since I’ve been sick the last week. I had to cancel plans to go to Kruja, to go to Berat, to go to Durres, to visit the National Museum, to visit the National Art Museum, and to spend time with my friends and students here.

At the same time, being stuck mostly in my home for the last week has helped finally figure out just how important my relationships here have become. Aida came two days in a row to help me with various duties so that I could save my energy and rest. She ran errands, washed dishes, hung up laundry, and did a little cleaning. Neda came one day to do the same. She and Olsa and Ledio even spent the night here once—sort of to check on me, sort of to be able to stay a night in my apartment, and sort of as an excuse to be away from home. lol Aida and Neda both helped me with getting my last souvenirs to take home. Olsa and Neda have both helped with cleaning. And the Huna family (Neda, Olsa, and Ledio and their parents) even invited me to their home for my last dinner in Albania. Neda and I made the fixings for tacos but since we can’t usually get tortillas here, Mrs. Huna made petulla. Yum! Put them together and it’s kind of like a gordita. Tasty!

As if fighting of a mumps virus isn’t enough, this morning I woke up with my left eye swollen ¾ of the way shut. I had to go to the doctor anyway to pick up a copy of my records so I figured since I was going there anyway; I might as well just see the doctor, too. She said she didn’t see any reason why I should be concerned. She said it didn’t show any signs of severity and I didn’t exhibit any other symptoms to be concerned about. In fact, she thinks that because I’m fighting a virus and because my arms are covered in various bug bites--some bordering on horrendous, one that’s golf ball sized and swollen even on the inside of my arm—that she thinks the swelling of my eye is just my body’s way of over-reacting to either a mosquito bite near my eye (though we couldn’t find any bite site) or to something that got in my eye.

Hopefully it won’t cause me any problems on the plane. It’s a little purplish so really, it kind of looks a little like a black eye. Funny. Well, not really, but what am I supposed to do besides laugh? I’m frustrated, but it doesn’t pay to show it or dwell on that negative feeling. So instead, I just chalk it up to another way I’m allergic to Albania and laugh. So if they question me at the airport, I will make a smart remark in typical Katie fashion. Hee hee! Probably something like, “Moving across an ocean is dangerous! Watch out when you’re packing!” Or I’ll pull of the classic, “You should see the other guy!” Haha!

Mostly what I’m concerned about is getting enough rest tomorrow before I leave. My landlord and his wife are coming in a 7:30am to start cleaning. Whoa!!! That throws a major kink into my normal sleeping pattern. Plus, I was hoping to be well-rested when I wake up to face my last day.

After I get up and find a way to waste a few hours around here, it’s over to church to print all of my flight stuff—itineraries, reservation numbers, confirmation numbers, etc.—and turn in the keys to Agron and then say goodbye to he and Vitori. Then I have to say goodbye to the Huna parents. And then to all my students who live in that building. None of that will be especially easy. But I remind myself, “There’s no crying in moving!” because it’s not goodbye. Friends stay in your heart. You don’t forget them. God allowed them to be a blessing in my life for which I will always be thankful.

After that, Neda is coming back with me. She’s coming with me to drop off the wireless internet equipment and my phone to the man who bought it. There, I’ll be able to use their wireless internet to hopefully post this, to check my flight status one more time, and then to email my parents and Meghan, since they are my rides home.

Before and after that, we’ll spend some time weighing my luggage. I pre-paid for one extra piece of luggage. I know the weight on that is fine, but I think one of my suitcases might still be over. They lowered the weight limit by a considerable amount from when we moved over here. That makes packing a bit more difficult.

Helen and Lejda are coming to pick up some things that I’m giving them and for a final farewell. At some point, I’ll shower, so I’m a bit more clean and refreshed before heading to the airport when my ride picks me up at 6:15pm. The Huna’s have a cousin who owns a car and he’s taking me to the airport and charging me half of what a taxi would cost. I’ve met him and he did the same for Emily last week. Plus, I figure it’s a good way to get rid of the last of my lek since they won’t be very helpful once I’m out of Albania. This way, Olsa, Neda, and Ledio can ride to the airport with me. They don’t think I should go alone.

I’m a little afraid this will make the goodbye harder, but oh well. Once I’m past the security gate, I can relax and just let the waiting begin. From there on out, it will just be a whole lot of waiting. Waiting to board, waiting to take off, waiting to land, waiting to exit the plane, waiting to claim luggage, waiting at customs. Then on to the hotel for my overnight layover. Then waiting for the airport shuttle from Gatwick to Heathrow. Then waiting to check in, waiting to board, waiting to take off, waiting to land, waiting to exit the plane, waiting to claim luggage, waiting at customs, waiting for Meghan. Once I see her car, the waiting will finally be done. No more waiting to be home—I’ll be there! In my own country with my own friends, on my way to see my family!

In approximately 48 hours, Albania will be a part of my past. But the things I’ve learned, seen and done, the people I’ve met and grown to love, and the place that was completely foreign to me will forever be a part of me. No matter what happens next on the path God’s laid out for me to follow, Albania will always be a part of my heart—a very vital part of my life. For that, I thank God.

Before I head to bed, I would also like to thank all of you who’ve supported me, encouraged me, and been a friend to me throughout this past year. You’ll never know how your thoughts, words, and prayers have lifted me up when I needed it. I ask now that you keep my in your prayers one more time. Please pray for my health throughout this journey home and for safe, smooth, comfortable flights. God is good and he never fails. Thank you for that reminder.

Quarantined

I have very little to report to day as I remain quarantined in my apartment. Emily left here around 2:30am and it was a quick goodbye. Refreshingly, at least from my perspective, it was an exciting goodbye. I felt like it was the sign of completion at the end of a very productive and positive year of work. Also, it was exciting to say "See you in the States!" and know that we will be comparing notes as we both find out what God has in store for us next.

At the same time, I did shed a few tears after I locked the door and walked back up the stairs, alone, to an emptier apartment. It did sink in that our time here is truly at an end.

After waking up at 1pm, (Hey--I was tired, up late, I'm sick, and I'm supposed to be resting. ;) At least I have good excuses. lol) my daily activities included:

• Flushing mass quantities of various fluids.
• Taking a shower. Being alone is no excuse to be stinky. Hee hee!
• Doing one load of laundry.
• Folding the sheets and towels Emily hung on the line yesterday.
• Talking to people on Skype.
• Watching movies on TV (when I could find something in English).
• Reaching a new level on the facebook game Farm Town.
• Playing other online games.
• Making soup for dinner.
• Emailing my travel plans and full itinerary to my family and Meghan, since she'll be picking me up in Chicago and driving me to Milwaukee where we'll meet my family for dinner.
• Frequent visits to the bathroom due to the extensive liquid consumption. lol

Tomorrow's agenda includes much of the same from today, minus the cooking because I have leftover soup. Aida is coming to keep me company and to help with some things. She offered to come and help me pass the time by keeping me company and helping with some things. What a great friend!

I'm feeling fine. There's hardly any pain thanks to mostly sitting still, no talking, and ibuprofen. The swelling maybe went up just a tad from yesterday but it's hard to tell. Other than that, I just feel tired and don't really feel like doing much except sitting on the couch. I'm just feeling a little stressed about all that needs to get done before I leave and not pushing myself those last few days before I head to the airport. Olsa and Neda had agreed awhile ago to help me with cleaning the apartment, so I'm not worried about that. I'm just worried about all of the stuff from our apartment that has to get to church and then get organized in the new location. Tomorrow I'll try to think of a plan for that. It will give me something to do.

But for now, I'm having a flashback from my childhood. I know I need to get some sleep so I hear my dad's voice in my head saying, "Shadrach, Meshach and To-bed-we-go!" lol Goodnight!